Calisthenics, week 6

This is the result from the "Engaging the Absurd" exercise 9 from pages 104-5 in Writing Poetry:

Droppings

A porcupine postures himself in the limelight
of a casinoed street. Neon razors coagulate
as he struts his stuff. The spindles of his shell
bristle as he admires his rolex,
sprinkles of cauliflower tickle the humid air.

A mosquito takes in the scene
like a drag of blood breath,
siphoning mother's nature from a piercing
of the Nissan's nipple. Indigent extract
slightens a smile.

A cow catches her breath
after punting a wounded starfish.
All systems go. Wheezing
through the solar plexus,
asexual and wondrous,
like a snowflake on a school boy's
temple.

Sign Inventory, week 6

"Main Temple Street, Puri" by Jayanta Mahapatra, Contemporary World Poetry, p. 416

• The last stanza begins with an odd contraction, "And," that is casually different from the rest of the work.
• There is a movement from people, "Children," to an abstraction of the "sky" at the end of the piece.
• There is a contrast between "unending rhythm," which ends line 4, and "crutches of silence" which ends line 11.
• There is a movement from sound, "laughing," to "silence."
• Illness and deformity is emphasized throughout with: "cripples," "mongrels," "shorn scalp," "Injuries," and "crutches."
• The sky is given absolute power, "inviolable authority."
• "The temple" is personified as "point"ing along with the sky "on its crutches," and "Injuries drowsy."
• There is a lack of care that is stressed with: "Nobody ever bothers" and "nothing seems to go away from sight."
• The work is lethargic with the lack of movement and "the heat."
• "Children" are "brown as earth" and the "dusty street" is "the colour of shorn scalp." Similes compare the ground to humans as vice versa.

Improv Entry, week 6

"Tree of Fire" by Adonis, Contemporary World Poetry, p. 286

The tree by the river
is weeping leaves.
It strews the shore
with tear after tear.
It reads to the river
its prophecy of fire.
I am that final
leaf that no one
sees
         My people
have died as fires
die--without a trace.

"Pool of Hair," by Darren Delfosse

The dog by the pool
is shedding fur.
It tufts the air
with shred after shred.
It spells out its allergies
to the ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Let's try and keep it
that way.
                I've lost
dogs just as I've receded
hair--in handfuls.

Free write, week 6

Here's an exercise I've created based on Jane Satterfield's connection of the X-Files and Girl Scouts at an FBI shooting range, two entirely different entities with a common thread.

Mike Tyson and the YMCA

Gaps in space open like brains
Before input.
Output: flesh.
Bashing brains and scuttle thrashings
engaged and butted, tearing
and tearing from beady eyes and
vanquished hearts, ripe like lobes
of penetration.

Who wouldn't scream with an eagle
Owning the cumulous and beady-eyed too.
Beak vice-gripping, carnivorous, thirsty.

Fluttering up, down, up, down.
BAM! Like Lloyd Christmas on vacation
from ever looking the same.
One, two, three counts and it's out.
Clunky candy, ceramic fishing,
determination unflinching.

A spherical outing with tooth
brush capabilities and fracturing
tendencies.

How did he find it?
Bobbing for apples
in a sea of chemical imbalances.
Stink to the eyes, flippers united,
an unflappable urgency
To reunite in milk
as in glaciers newly bonded.

Response to Zac Cooper's week 6 Pedagogy Forum, week 6

You're totally right about the five paragraph essay not providing a worthwhile framework for our students' writing skills. However, I believe that evaluators for statewide writing tests are specifically trained to target these kinds of formulaic essays and fail them! There is a move to grade these essays on their ability to express sound ideas with good reasoning that are organized efficiently and are interesting due to word choice, sentence fluency, voice, and conventions. Transitions are also highly important so as to increase the flow of the work.

I always tell my students that four paragraphs are just as good as five, so long as they are well-developed, reasoned, and interesting. As teachers we need to continue creating better thinkers as we teach writing, and quality writing will inevitably follow. As you say, "the signs are what is important."

Pedagogy forum, week 6

I have been reflecting on my notes from the Ned Balbo and Jane Satterfield poetry reading on August 22. I thought that Satterfield had an interesting way of combining very different events. Her piece on the X-Files and girl scouts brought the past as a little girl at an FBI shooting range together with the strange and questioning nature of a sci-fi TV program. One line that stood out: "What were we doing there?" simultaneously applies to the show and the childhood. She did the same thing with Heathcliff from Gone with the Wind and contemporary life. I'm going to try to use this strategy in developing my poetry through calisthenics. One thing that disappointed me with the performances was how low they both spoke. I feel that reading poetry should be clearly audible and with inflection so as to engage one's audience.

Junkyard quotes 1-4, week 6

"Holy hormones Batman! I'm all out of quarters!" -Robin in Mad magazine comic

"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything." -Thomas Edison

"Shit, if I knew it was goin' to be that kind of a party, I'da  sticked my dick in the mashed potatoes!" excerpt from Beastie Boys album Check your Head


"I like tuwtles." -Youtube clip

Pedagogy Forum, week 5

I’m working with Jonette on perfecting the art of the critique. As a veteran of poetry, she’s taken many more creative writing courses than I have and has a wealth of knowledge to offer. I’m learning how to pose more constructive questions and how relate my specific comments to the work as a whole. I’ve found that I often find details that seem to help or hinder a piece, but often am unable to express how to make it better or why something works. This is a difficult process because I haven’t practiced it much in the past. As an English teacher I critique many things, but usually creativity is lower on the list of priorities. I’m beginning to realize that maybe it should be higher. Creative writing is more important than it’s often given credit because it forces writers (and readers) to perform on a higher level of thinking. In fact, it forces us to work on multiple levels of thought.

Response to Billy’s Pedagogy Post 9.15.10, week 5

Billy raises an interesting question, what makes a poet a poet? I agree that it is hard to define who is and who isn’t a successful poet. This is because success is a subjective thing. What society deems as success might be whole different from what you are I believe. Therefore, to be successful poet does one have to be published, make money, or be famous? If those are the ingredients for success, then yes. However, if one deems success to be equated with happiness and one is most happy when writing poetry, then it seems that that person would be successful poet.

Currently, I am about as much a poet as I am a guitarist. I dabble. I can play a few chords, just like I can write a few decent lines. Therefore, because I play, I am a musician, albeit a novice at best. Similarly, I write poetry. I am a poet. And so are you.

Improv Post, week 5

“Conversation” by Dan Pagis, Contemporary World Poetry, p. 326

Four talked about the pine tree. One defined it by genus, species, and

variety. One assessed its disadvantages for the lumber industry. One

quoted poems about pine trees in many languages. One took root,

stretched out branches, and rustled.

“Digitation” by Darren Delfosse

Four gabbed about the Iphone. One bragged of its apps, features, and

sleekness. One bitched about its lack of multi-functionality. One

spat of world-wide reviews of it as a “game-changer.” One clutched it,

reared back, and hurled it into a wall.

Inventory post, week 5

“Betrayal” by Adam Zagajewski, Contemporary World Poetry, p. 155

• ·      The work moves from the perspective of “I” in the first line to “our” and “we” to the end.
• ·      “Betrayal” and “fidelity” end lines 2 and 3, emphasizing their “equal”ness.
• ·      The order of “a woman, friends, an idea” in line 4 is altered in lines 7-9.
• ·      The last two sentences begin at the end of their lines and are conditional, “But,” “If.”
• ·      The word “other” is used repeatedly in the second half of the piece, four times. The first two instances reference “limited”ness, while the second two emphasize a “quite different otherness.”
• ·      “Woman” and “ideas” are contrasted by “other,” while “friends” is contrasted by “the enemies of our long-standing friends.”
• ·       “Different otherness” is defined by verbs: “settle,” “touch,” “lose,” “meet.”
• ·      The final verb “meet” ends the second to last line and concerns the only spiritual reference: “a God other than our own.”
• ·      “God” is capitalized and in the last line of the text.
• ·      “She” is the only gendered pronoun in the piece.

Free entry, week 5

This is a creation that I wove out of something I apparently said once, but didn't remember saying. Thought it would be a good starting place.

Dangerous Alibis

It's not conducive to my flavor.
Maybe now, maybe later, but
Who flies in the face of danger
when dancing on the teeth of a gator?

I once saw something sinister,
better left unsaid,
about somebody dead.
Or maybe someone dying.
Is it really worth trying
or just giving up instead?

It's not what I wanted,
rooted in discernible atrocities
but who's wise to the whys
when there's only goodbyes
and all has been lost but
to win?

What is it in meanings
that's lost in just being,
the faces are beaming,
and they're triple-teaming,
again.

Calisthenics, week 5

This is from writing between the Greek lines in class and revising those lines in the "We are ten" exercise. I made one more revision that looks like this:

Inking Insignificance

We are eleven and building armored viruses
disguised as canoes.
We try all the keys,
yet they are primal as orbits.

We are Italian:
Our sauce far outstretching lava vomit tendencies.
Mullets tarry with our culture while
cacti nip at our water.

We are Supermen,
saving memories only of our motherland.
Multiple questions bellow past us-
dumb, conducive, urban.
Inferior as they are, they are liquid-
genius under beneficial patrons.

We attack altars while
moaning for Rome.
Musing many hates,
quieting flavors like numb lasers.

Squid inking the terrain,
mute and boldly revolting.

Insignias reign, the pious viruses
adhere to the labor of multiple impulses, whilst
tarantulas celebrate irately.

Junkyard quote 4, week 5

"I taste rainbows. Can you taste the rainbows?" -comedian Tom Papa, in reference to his daughter

Junkyard Quotes 1-3, week 5

"So you're saying there's a chance..." -Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber


"This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius" -"Aquarius" from the musical Hair

"At home/ Drawing pictures of mountain tops/ With him on top/ Lemin yellow sun/ And the dead lay/ In pools of maroon below" -"Jeremy" by Pearl Jam

Inventory for Robert Lowell's "Reading Myself," p. 19 week 4

-From Contemporary American Poetry:

• The text contrasts fake "wax flowers" with real Mount "Parnassus" of Greece in lines 5-6.
• There is another contrast following Parnassus as the text begins a long detail of a bee's nest in line 7. This shift is emphasized further by the "..." which follows Parnassus.
• The word "just" is repeated in line 1, discussing deserved "pride."
• The words "matches," "boil," and "fire" in line 2-3 are used in reference to the speaker's "blood" and "tricks" in terms of writing.
• Line 8 focuses on circular, repetitious patterns in regards to the honeybee's work.
• The speaker claims he is "finished with wax flowers," but later refers to "wax and honey of a mausoleum." Therefore, there is a contradiction.
• The final line repeats "open" in reference to a "book" and a "coffin" along with a "..." to split the terms. This reflects the relationship between the bee's hive which "proves its maker is alive" and houses its "corpse."
• "Lives embalmed" is an oxymoronic phrase that parallels life and death.
•  There is a contrast between "sweet-tooth bear" and the word "desecrate."
• The poem moves from a first-person point of view, to a third-person point of view (describing the bees), back to first person in reference to the speaker's coffin. This reflects the circular language in line 8.

Imitation Post, week 4

Li-Young Lee in Contemporary American Poetry, p. 584:

One Heart

Look at the birds. Even flying
is born

out of nothing. The first sky
is inside you, open

at either end of day.
The work of wings

was always freedom, fastening
one heart to every falling thing.


"Kneading" by Darren Delfosse

Peer at the felines. Even kneading
is born

out of nowhere. The first need
is inside you, wanting

at both ends of day.
The work of paws

was always acceptance, stapling
one heart to every lonesome thing.

Calisthenics, week 4

After a long revision session, this is what I came up with from the "writing between the lines" exercise last class:

Merely Hesitant

It is somewhere between the stars

And the oceanic enterprise.

Shotgun shambles disseminate

As the cracks echo the night.

I love them as I swallow,

Cocked and unbroken.

There is a pungency in the urge

To answer a question

Held in the crosshairs.

Steady, I am supine

Before I knew what spiked me.

A kiss marks the asking

And a stunned silence

Breaks the noise.

Clowns mimicked us and we were

Peeping Toms staring at a corridor

Overlooked by meadows.

A swallow still sings

As whispers laugh at the wind.

Free Write, week 4

Here's a bit of free-range ventilation:

I can't stand pricks who don't have enough dignity to pick up a phone and discuss an issue civilly. Instead, they spend their time, ink, stamp, and paper to be an asshole and send you a letter explaining just how big of a douchebag they are. Now, the letter didn't actually say that, but the essence was unmistakable. I hate the condescending tone of older folks. I'm all about respecting elders, but really, give me the benefit of the doubt. Just because you're a tool doesn't mean that I'm incompetent. I can't stand kids that don't want to learn. I get it. You don't like school. You don't like me. You don't like the administration. You don't like your parent. You don't like yourself. But the fact is, you have plenty of people who know what they're talking about, telling you that school is necessary and a good idea for your future. Get your head out of your ass. I didn't like school either. But I was smart enough to know what was good for me and my future. Any kid is bright enough to figure that out. Kids are too soft. I'm softer than my dad. And he's softer than his. This is not a good trend.

Response to Melissa Stubbs' week3 Pedagogy Forum, week 4

I also struggle with the concept of committed detachment. I believe it has everything to do with the inherent nature of most people to want to control. People want to control reality and being creative is all about relinquishing control. You kind of need to take a backseat and let your subconscious do the driving for a while. Then after you’ve “created” you can consciously construct your form, rhythm, meter, etc. Inevitably, your meaning will be inscribed by constructing what you’ve already created. It’s not so much a deconstruction to “find” the meaning. The meaning is already there. You just have to mold it into an appealing shape.

Pedgogy Forum, week 4

Criticism is a difficult craft to master. I found this out first hand before our last class. As I was critiquing Randie and Trista's poems, I kept thinking that they seemed fairly strong. I discovered some minor problems, but ultimately felt that they contained strong imagery and evocative messages that were trimmed of excess baggage. I struggled with what to say and what not to, and how to say it. However, as we dissected each poem in class, I was inrigued by how much a knew but failed to express. Time and again other classmates expressed ideas that had crossed my mind, but that I never wrote down or didn't know how to. It was comforting to know that if I was confused by the speaker's place in a poem, others were too. I also learned that I often am expecting too much from my reader in my own writing. In the past, I always figured it was my poem so who cares what anyone else thinks? It makes since, however, that if we expect others to read our stuff, we have an obligation to make it possible.

Junkyard quotes 1-4, week 4

"A fanatic is a man who consciously over compensates a secret doubt." -Aldous Huxley

"I fink Chili's is closed on Saturdays." -3 year old nephew lying about the restaurant because he wanted to eat at Chick-fil-A.

"I never let schooling interfere with my education." -Mark Twain

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." -George Carlin

Sign Inventory, week 3

"It Is This Way with Men", by C.K. Williams, Contemporary American Poetry, p. 425:

• What is the "It" in line 5? If the text is referring to men, then why does the speaker say, "And men, they too are wounded" in line 9?
• The word "ripen" is repeated in line 8, giving a feeling of perptuation.
• The word "soften" is also repeated in line 12. It is emphasized by bookcasing the line and enjambing "The core" in line 11.
• Unlike the spiny fruit, men do not "ripen and ripen." They "end," as is indicated in the final line.
• The seeds of men are "dark."
• The text lacks specificity. Other than "spiny fruit," both men and fruit are defined by "they" and "it."
• The word "sore" personifies the earth, giving it a visceral feel.
• "There" is repeated in line 13, giving the poem an even greater cyclical feel.
• "Softening" is emphasized in regards to humans, while hardness is stressed in reference to the fruit with words like "nails," "spiny," "pounded,"and "driven down again." These words also containg hard sounds.
• "Being raised and eaten" is preferred to constant ripening.

Pedagogy forum, week 3

I found the "When we go to..." calisthenics exercise to be particularly fruitful in generating ideas. The repetitive nature of using the same beginning gives the poetry a chant-like feel. This helps  me to springboard off of the refrain in a multitude of ways. I feel that my mind is better able to wander because I try to get away from the typical discourse that would normally follow the introduction. For example, I used "When we go to Paris" and I found myself trying t get away from typical Parisian story lines. Interestingly, I fell into the tourist trap of writing about the cultural vitality many look for in European countries. I didn't stumble upon this intentionally, but my writing consistently conjured up images of a sought after ethnic cleansing and what my subconscious really deemed was happening.

Improvisation, week 3

"For Friendship" by Robert Creeley in Contemporary American Poetry, p. 220

For friendship

make a chain that holds,

to be bound to

others, two by two,

a walk, a garland,

handed by hands

that cannot move

unless they hold.

"Linked Apart" by Darren Delfosse

Linked together

a solidarity that glimmers,

apart but intertwined

we are but one.

A spoken word,

a benign gesture,

we are tracking

in another's midst,

but stock still

in ourselves.

Calisthenics, week 3

This is the result of revising the "when we go to..." piece I began at the beginning of the last class.

When we go to Paris we fall monumentally.
When we go to Paris our insides get twisted and a puppy bites a stranger
Hard.
When we go to Paris the filth creates a film and is obligatorily shuttled
At light speed to vacant corners of xenophobia.
When we go to Paris we extract meaning from this filth and feel
As though we are already one leg up on
The competition.
When we go to Paris we become scarcely ethnic like
Miniature solar flares,
Announcing our arrival in fervor, but
Alone when we leave.
When we go to Paris
We Clutch at the far away and
Faceplant the horizon.
Head long and sullied
We dust ourselves off with a shrug and an utter as
Our guilt crawls into the meatlocker.

Junkyard quote 4, week 3

"Shhhhh! It's too hot outside to be a douchebag." -Christina Applegate on The Late Show with David Letterman in response to a police officer telling her where she couldn't park her car whilst being pregnant.

Response to classmate's journal, week 3

Reader response to Zac Cooper's post on children's perspective:
I agree with the suggestion that children offer unique, fresh perspectives to what adults take for granted. Not to get religious, but the Bible offers a bit of commentary on the subject. In  Matthew 18: 3-4 Jesus says, "Unless  you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." It is clear that he also sees the value of a child-like point of view. In fact, he claims that it is the key to salvation. This makes sense when one considers the purity and innocence of a child. If Jesus is a promoter of goodness over sinning, then who is better than a child? Children aren't corrupted by the countless mistakes one makes throughout life. Therefore, their vision of the world is purest, most natural. Poetry is all about getting to the heart of language through economy. We are striving to reach our subconscious with various calisthenics. We can only get there by NOT thinking about what we want to write about.

Free write, week 3

Pointing in spectacular spiral
It pinches the light that spills forth
Careening with intensity
Until the last breath splits
From the monumental precipice.
It stands deceased however undulating
Anticipating the turn on that will release
The vitality from strangular vices.

Junkyard quotes 1-3, week 3

"Sometimes I just want to slap one of these motherfuckers!" -high school teacher upon entering co-teacher's classroom

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." -Henry David Thoreau

"I'm sure if he could get another chance, he would take it" -student's message in sympathy card to family of  suicide victim